As defined by Association of Partners of Sex Addict Trauma Specialists (APSATS) “M-PTM does not conceptualize partner trauma as someone with own disease of 'co-addiction', but as someone who has experienced significant wounding in response to sex addiction induced trauma.” My expertise is in working with partners of sex addicts using the Partner Trauma Model. This model views the partner as someone traumatized by events out of his or her control. This model also addresses the traumatic impact of sex addiction on the couple and the total family system. 

In all my work, I see through a lens of the trauma perspective. As a partner, what you are experiencing upon discovering that your significant other is a sex addict, is not the result of “co-dependence” or “co-addiction” or some other critical label that tries to shift the blame and pathologize the normal human reaction to relationship betrayal trauma. The Co-Addiction Model views the partner as powerless and part of the addiction. I believe that by empowering partners not to feel powerless they can build on their strengths and resilience. Researchers define trauma as, “a unique individual experience of an event or enduring condition in which a person’s ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is overwhelmed or the person experiences a threat to life, bodily integrity, or sanity.” 

Sex addiction induced trauma destroys relational trust and the partners own ability to trust themselves. Research has also shown that partners not only experience betrayal trauma but often show signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). We now know that sex addiction and trauma changes the brain wiring. Trauma increases the need for comfort and attachment. All that is lost at the time of discovery of the betrayal trauma.